'Future'

Have been attending quite a few baby showers and wedding dinners thru out this year.
Remember few years back, wedding and baby shower invitations were given by aunties and uncles, now i rec them from my friends/cousins who are just a few years older than me!
i started to realise that i am really a grown up now (i sld have realised when the spelling of my age does not consist the word 'teen'), and muz start planning ahead for my future.

FUTURE, a word that frighten me much, so much unknown changes to go through .
Ppl always say future lies in ur hands, but things don't always go as planned...
what kind of life will i live in future?
will i get married 1 day?
Who will my future life partner?
will i ever have kids?
will my kids be all well and healthy?
will my parents still be there for me in 10/20/30 years time?
Can we plan all these? i wish i could...

Changes are constant, I hate that.
Esp when a change means separation of love ones, death or change of heart...

After a failed r/s, i am so afraid to pin high hope on anyone =(
i am so afraid of losing anyone i love, friends/bf/family.
i rmb my mum once asked me 'why can't we just live on our life and no one shall die, no separation forever'
i said 'wun that be over crowding if there were newborns, and if there wun be newborns, won't life be boring?'
Imagine ppl living for thousands of years, wun get bored?
despite that, i prefer boring life than to part with people i love...
(as if i can change the fact)