Losing myself

I haven't been copping well with my job, my life infact...

I feel like i am losing myself or either i don't know which is my true self?  

My lifestyle have been very healthy the past few years but it seems to have changed recently.

Many many late night party, drinking, etc but I think i can still resist smoking? haha 

I wonder if it is the effect of working, being single or part of growing up? 

I spend almost all my time with the same person the past years, but now i don't know how else to spend my time...

I am giving my best to my career and to distract myself from my messed up r/s, thus my only entertainment probably starts in the late night. The only kind of entertainment i think? All these seems like a vicious cycle so much so that, i am more troubled now. I probably shouldn't elaborate too much about this. 

 Oh wellsssss, other than the mental stress i am feeling right now, my uniform is burstinggggg! So i conclude that late night dinning and drinking is fattening! Even skinny girl like me grew fatter after many late night dinning and drinking. 

Before i end this post, may i be greedy to ask and hope for things to go my way and also for me to excel in my career please?????? Been feeling despair and remorse for how badly i fare at work. :((((((((((((((((((((( Coincidentally, when i thought of giving up, i received a text from someone i least expect! I wonder if anyone said something, but this text really perks me up. Lets look forward to a better tomorrow!

p.s Macaroons and ice cream is my happy pills now! i miss you and i love you! JIAYOU AMANDA!